Hello. I'm President Barack Obama, and I too, would like to slow jam this news
Hit me eight times!
It's been an honor and a privlidge to serve as your president over the past eight years
When I first took office, our nation was facing one of the worst recessions in its history
Since then, we've added more than 14 million new jobs and lowered the unemployment rate to under 5%
Through the actions of my administration, we were able to stimulate the economy and get our country back on track
President Obama stimulating long-term growth in both the public and the private sector
In 2008, the country wasn't feeling in the mood
It was too tired, stressed, said it had a headache
Barack lit some candles and got some silky satin sheets (Silky satin sheets now)
He told the American people, "Yes, we can"
Yes, we can, it's alright
He created tons of jobs for you and me
He's got one more left for Hillary
As President I'm proud of the many progressive steps our country has taken in recent years, both socially and environmentally
The United States has been a leader in developing clean energy to ensure the health of our planet for future generations
Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, an additional 20 million Americans now have access to quality health care
And same sex couples across the country now have a constitutional right to marry
In short, climate change is real, health care is affordable, and love is love
Mm, mm, mmm
Commander and preach
You gotta listen to my man, Bar-eezus
He's accomplished a lot in eight years
Even when congress tried to block him, he found a way in through the back door
When Republicans gave him lemons, he made so much lemonade Beyonce started calling him, "Barack-y with the good hair"
"Barack-y with the good hair"
His first two terms ended in such a hurry
Wish he could go for three, like my man Steph Curry
Now, now, there will be no third term. I can't stay forever
Besides, daddy's got a Hawaiian vacation booked in about... 223 days, but who's counting?
That being said, the American people faced an important decision this fall
The entire world is watching and they look to for stability and leadership
Now, I know some of the presidential candidates have been critical of my foreign policy
I don't want to name any names (He's talking about Donald Trump)
But, I believe it is of the upmost importance to work along side of the world leaders
That's why I signed Iran nuclear deal
That's why we reopened diplomatic ties with Cuba
And that's why I negotiated the new trade deal called the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the TPP
Now, hold on there, "Prez Dispenser"
Are you saying you're down with TPP?
Yeah, you know me
Look, Jimmy, the TPP allows American businesses to sell their products both at home and abroad
The more we sell abroad, the more higher paying jobs we provide here at home, it's that simple
So-so what you're is this trade deal will help put every day Americans back to work, work, work, work, work
Put it back to work, work, work, work, work
He put it back to work, work, work, work, work
(Work, work, work, work, work)
Now, Mr. President, since you're here I gotta ask, have you been watching all the election covers this week about... Donald Trump?
No, but I have been watching my new favorite show, "Orange Is Not the New Black"
Woah, woah, woah
I'ma need you to Netflix and chill
I get it if you're a little wound up after all this time
I mean, I can't imagine what it'd be like to do the same job for eight straight years
Jimmy, you probably never will
(Does Obamacare cover burns?)
America's best days are still yet to come
Thank you, Mr. President, for all that you've done
This country's on track and that is a fact
Once you go Barack, you will never go back
Thank you for leading the red, white, and the blue!
That is how we slow jam the news!